We, the Beaglebratz - Shiloh-Lord of the Manor & Diva Shasta - need to set the record straight. We are now, and have been for the past few yearzz, the primary ownerz an'producerz of this blog. Of course, we do allow, aza courtesy (after all, she duz pay fur it) our mom to post here too. You may read about us, other Beaglez, other breedz or mixed breedz, an'any info related to dogz that we or our mom may find significant in any way. After all, this iz OUR blog.
I WAS scheduled to just go and get my contact lense replaced with a new one.
for the past couple of days I've been noticing a bit of a change ... and NOT a good change either.
I was not entirely surprised by this but
my eye doctor did find that my vision was about HALF as good as it had been-
was about 20/60 and today was 20/150.
Now while this does sound bad-
that is DISTANT vision which I do not really use since I don't drive anyway.
What I am most concerned with is my
can I still read and do my job-
I can still blog.
The cloudiness is what has changed for the worse along with the development of a
small epithelial defect
(like a skin tear on the surface of your eye).
Once again I have an appointment with my
cornea specialist next Tuesday-
sooner if the need is there.
I am already doing everything else(medicine).
In that post (link above) I talked about
not doing things and letting life pass me by-
part of it too is the "what ifs".
There were some things I had stopped doing because of the "what ifs"-
"What if walking the dogs had a
bad effect on my vision?"
"What if while getting Shiloh or Diva Shasta ready to visit messed up my eye?"
Now I do continue working but "what if" all the computer use is having a bad effect on my eye?
I know I have read that it can so why do I
continue to work altho I'm suppose to
not use the computer to enjoy my life at home? So now I have to ask myself- WHY have I given up walking the Beaglebratz AND doing therapy visits- I am STILL having problems with my eye. Ok - that is enough for now. Hopefully the Beaglebratz will be bak for the next post.
And I almost forgot since I'm not all that comfortable doing so- but I would appreciate your prayers and POTP to heal that defect and the cloudiness improves.
Mom Kim here - I’ve
always said that I am not a pessimist nor am I an optimist but because of
different things I have been through, beginning in 1976 with the onset of my
disabilities, I have developed into a REALIST.
thinking – considering what life was like for, not just me but the B-bratz as
well, just 5 short years ago. The main
focus I had then was taking Shiloh on visits to the nursing home and at a
(Here is me & Shiloh participating in a Relay For Life a few years ago - I am also a melanoma survivor - I still had to use a Halti on him - NOT used for about 7 years and I am so glad - got tired of people asking me why he was wearing a muzzle - he has his therapy vest on)
Diva Shasta was really just
beginning her career as a therapy dog
(In fact this pic was taken after her first successful eval on 10/3/09 for therapy dog and she also passed her Canine Good Citizen test
so of course mom was very proud.)
and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it
all – because she was so new to that environment and still a bit timid, I kept
our visits a bit shorter. We only
visited at the hospice day program where she would not have to be exposed to
all the equipment and noise usually found in a nursing home environment. I would also take turns with them walking
through the neighborhood several times each week – usually now the only
exercise they get is out in the backyard with OCCASIONAL trips to Petsmart or
the vet - as well as NO therapy dog
thinking back, beginning in late December of 2009 (post Christmas) and into the
new year of 2010, things began to change – and it would not be good changes.. That was when the reality of my
vision problems began to take over my life – and I let that also affect the
life of the Beaglebratz and our interactions WITH life.
know that in the time since, some of you have read my posts that really
detailed those vision problems – the two fungal infections I had – each separate
in two different years but in the same eye and the stem cell and cornea transplant
that followed each infection. And there
was also the once worsening but now somewhat stable overall condition of that
eye since the last stem cell transplant in 2013. Then in September, 2013, something different happened - during a “routine” eye doctor visit, my doctor suspected (correctly I might
add) that I had developed a skin cancer on my nose – near the corner of my
eye. After it was removed and plastic
surgery done, it seemed like I developed improved skin/muscle tone on that side of my
face – the same side as my troubled eye. I was concerned that maybe that surgery and skin cancer might have a
negative effect on my eye however it appears that just the opposite has happened. Ok, then something I thought REALLY strange
happened in early December of 2013 – I passed out AT WORK! After that, even more strange to me – I was
taken by ambulance to the ER where something MORE strange – after some tests
which essentially were normal except for my low blood pressure, the doctor
ADMITTED me for observation over-night (like something you read about or watch
on tv but would not ever happen to you).
No one ever really found out the real cause however low blood pressure
and dehydration were suspected. (I just wanted to interject something here - I took a minute just now to go bak and re-read all the comments of concern and well-wishes that were left when I first posted about THIS SCARYPASSING-OUTEPISODE- not sure I ever posted my thanx for YOUR comments so
THANK YOU !!!!
Also - I want to THANK ALL OF YOU for all of your caring, concern, prayers, POTP and PURRS over these past 5 years (no - not going anywhere) just not sure I could ever say thank you enough.
Ok – enough
of all the drama of the last 5 years – now moving on and looking forward, which
is basically something I have not allowed myself to do much of (looking
forward) – during these past 5 years it seemed like everytime I started looking
forward and even tentatively making a plan or two, something got in the way to
put a halt to it so I soon got to the point where plans and dreams just became
a thing of the past. I can’t remember
for sure where I first read this quote but I think I know now why I wrote it down so I would remember it for future use – it fits perfectly in this
"You are never too old to setanother goal or todream a new dream." C.S. Lewis
Right now is like one of those “aha”
moments – I knew what it meant from the moment I first read it and I think
there was a part of me that wanted to believe it HOWEVER there was another part
(pretty sure it was a bigger part) that borders on the realist/pessimist and yes, even the depressed part of me
saying “Yeah right, maybe for others”.
Ok so I am sure
there are some who are wondering why I put this here on the blog – after all,
shouldn’t a blog post be about dog stuff and pet stuff – the blog is called Team
Beaglebratz and the Beaglebratz are the dogs and when I do post, I try to post about more up-beat stuff (of course that's all the Beaglebratz know for the most part)
Well, first of all, I – the MOM – am also a member of our TEAM and what affects MY life also affects the
Beaglebratz. ACTUALLY - I'm not really that sure why I wanted to share this here - after all, I do have plenty of other things to post about and so do the Beaglebratz. I think I was kind of stuck - I had some of these same thoughts floating around in my head for awhile now and maybe it was gonna take putting them down in black and white to get past this. I have been feeling like life is passing me by - AND I'M LETTING IT! As for getting back into therapy visits with the Beaglebratz - not sure yet as to what extent we all can do that. Shiloh will be 12 in March next year and he needs to be re-evaluated first but I know he misses it as well as misses his walks - yes, he has a bad day every so often with his back BUT we can cross that bridge when it happens; he never has officially retired from therapy work and I would like to give him that opportunity. Whereas Diva Shasta still has her registration as a therapy dog and when we do go to Petsmart, she is fine when around other people SOOOO all we can do really is just try - WHAT AM I SCARED OF??? And that is mostly what it is all about!
Ok - that is more than enuf - if you read this all - I commend you.
A note from Mom Kim -remember sweet Chloe from Pug Possessed? Well she is sort of scheduled for surgery today for additional treatment in fighting the C beast.
HOWEVER, she will first be evaluated to determine if that surgery even remains an option. Please click on that link above to go to their blog and leave her and her mom some POTP and prayers. Thank you.