Shasta Beaglebrat here tuday-
As my big brother Shiloh promised yestaday, here iz the 2nd part of the CONTRACT. I wanted tu read it tu – mom REALLY NEEDS to read it again. I r’member – I wuz just a little bitty baby an’she had me sittin’ on sum stranger’s lap who wuz dressed in red. An’she still won’t let me out when I furst tell hur – noooooooo, she makes me wait. May-b, when me n’Shiloh give hur r stories, we shood slip in a r’minder about the CONTRACT-
AROUND THE HOUSE
• I will not sneak around the backyard, wearing funny clothes and a face mask, to test whether my Beagle is a good watchdog.
• I will not yell at my Beagle to "HURRY UP ALREADY" when he's just looking for the right spot to take care of business.
• Once he has found an acceptable spot, I will not stare while my Beagle is doing his business.
• I will not ask my Beagle to retire to his crate anymore.
• I will open the back door as soon as my Beagle sits by it.
• I will never again leave my Beagle at home if I intend to go driving in the car.
CATS AND KIDS
• I will not bring home anymore cats.
• I will get rid of all those cats we currently own.
• I will not feed the cat before I feed my Beagle.
• I will protect my Beagle from all obnoxious little human things at all times.
• I will not have another one of those obnoxious little human things.
THE CHRISTMAS SEASON (I thought this wuz a REALLY good thing rite now)
• I will not make my Beagle wear silly looking antlers or red Santa hats.
• I will not make my Beagle pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.
• I will not tie leftover ribbons, tinsel and bows all over my Beagle and call it "Christmas Spirit".
• I will accept that my Beagle shall play with the green tree covered in shiny ball-like ornaments.
• I will remember to stuff a stocking and buy several presents for my Beagle.
An' yes, she DUZ put ribbons an'bows on us then laughs sumtime - how RUDE iz that!